Passionate About Empowering Parents
My parent coaching approach is practical and is easily applied to everyday moment to moment experiences. With the parents' commitment, I guide the parent in taking steps for taking their power back and creating the experience they desire to have with their child.
I believe that long lasting and positive changes can happen in our relationships when we chose to explore and embrace who we are and what we want through mind, body and spirit. It's through self-awareness and the desire and intention to make positive shifts that amazing transformation can happen in ourselves and the people around us. As a parent, I have learned that when we shift as parents, our children shift as well.
My Personal Parenting Story:
For many years as a parent I felt powerless, tired, frustrated and overwhelmed. I would say to myself, “Will this ever get better?”
I knew the kind of life I wanted for my family. I wasn’t looking for perfection. I was searching for greater peace, harmony and connection with my child. I wanted to let go of the daily power struggles and feel some relief. I read countless parenting books. Some had useful tips, but none gave me the complete recipe for what truly felt right in my heart.
My journey to greater peace with my parenting experience began when I turned my focus inward. When I was able to shift my inner world, my outer world, my experiences, my relationships began to shift for the better. I made small steps that lead to big and positive changes. My first step was a shift in perspective. I realized that I was looking for peace and relief outside of myself. I believed that controlling others or the situation would make things better. In some cases, things would get better, but it was never a long lasting positive change. Out of frustration, I would find myself saying, “If only my child would just…things would be so much easier.”
Ironically, one of the most freeing things that I learned is that you can’t control others. Yes, I'm his parent and yes he should listen and follow the rules. But I didn’t want my child to just follow the rules from a place of force or fear of the consequences. This only created more disconnect and resentment. I wanted my child to follow the rules because he “wanted” to follow the rules.
When I let go of the need to control or fix my child, this opened up space for a new way of thinking and living that helped me foster a greater connection. I was able to respond and relate to him from a different place, a place of positive focus and expectation.
Now I was thinking, since I can’t control my child, then where do I go from here? In essence, I had to shift my focus to what I could control. I could control my own thoughts, feelings, expectations and behaviors. I could control how I respond to him in the moment. At this point I had decided that I would do whatever it takes to create a positive change. It took self-reflection and the realization that my old beliefs about parenting were keeping me stuck. My attachment to these old parenting beliefs were only adding fuel to the fire and contributing to the drama and discord in my family’s life. No longer could I wait for my child to change for things to get better, a shift in me was the magic formula for greater peace.
Choosing to shift my old parenting beliefs and behaviors felt very uncomfortable and unfamiliar. This choice to make a change in my thinking stirred up all kinds of feelings of resistance in me. I would make progress with how I would respond to my son and my old habits would rear their familiar faces, saying, “but can’t we just keep doing what we did before, it’s SO much easier and maybe things will just magically change on their own…?”
As I stuck with my commitment to create peace and a more loving connection with my son, each small change that I made transformed our daily experiences for the better. I noticed that I could remain calm more often when in the middle of a situation that had escalated. There were less power struggles and less reminding. I was able to enforce the family rules with more consistency. With the increased level of connection there was also more cooperation. My son began to make better choices.
I still have challenging parenting days that test the limits of the inner peace and positive expectation that I chose to cultivate. But I now have the tools that empower me to rise above the turmoil and see the situation from a place of clarity and positive action.
I’ve come to realize that nothing else in life has made me more strong and more loving then the experience of being a parent. When I stopped resisting the challenge to grow and see things differently, my life began to transform. Not only did I make positive shifts, but my son’s behavior began to shift as well for the better.